Call me Mommy

I’m a mommy apparently, even though our little lady has not made her debut.

We’re 25 weeks and 6 days pregnant, very specific numbers there, as every extra day of being pregnant counts.

Up until our 22nd week of pregnancy, all our scans and visits indicated a ‘perfect’ pregnancy. Sure I had plenty of the standard side effects that one is told you may experience in pregnancy (the things that none of your friends ever actually seemed to experience). Nausea for one, was a constant friend, I named my toilet Ralph at one stage and I started feeling guilty that I felt him up more often than I did my own husband. I developed restless leg syndrome at night, my heartburn was a killer, sneezing became a horrific experience, one that left me wanting to never leave my home in fear that a sneeze would result in wetting myself, I could fall asleep at a moment notice, I was always exhausted and on days of extreme summer heat my blood pressure would drop and prevent me from being any more than a sloth. My skin turned blotchy and I would wake up dreading looking in the mirror as I knew I looked like the perfect candidate for a new series of Clearasil adverts. I became allergic to my cosmetics, the sight and scent of raw meat, one unfortunate exploration of a new butchery in town resulted in a cookie tossing competition in the middle of their pristine, hygienic store. Nobody tells you any of this, so you don’t speak of it, somehow you think it will make you a pariah, a leper.

I’m 25 weeks and 6 days pregnant and am in hospital with early on-set pre-eclampsia, fighting to keep myself and our little girl healthy and safe and my husband sane!  Not much seems to be said about pre-eclampsia and I still find friends and family who struggle to comprehend the severity of our situation, that I am not leaving the hospital until our child is born is simply unfathomable, that we don’t know how long we’ll be here for is impossible to comprehend myself, so I guess I should understand that there could be confusion about an illness that I was never forewarned about, it was something I happened to stumble upon in one of my baby books, and thankfully so, because if I had not known the symptoms and been able to immediately identify a massive concern, I, our baby or us both would not be here to speak of it today.

This is my blog to vent, to bitch, to moan, to motivate, to sulk, and to share a side of pregnancy which seems to be a well kept secret. If you are under the illusion that all pregnancies have been created equal and if you have been lured in with promises of glowing skin and radiating beauty then let me break it to you now, it’s all lies!