I woke up with a rash. I didn’t know about it because I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see it because my eyes were swollen shut. My eyes were swollen shut because I just don’t seem to be able to catch a break at the moment.
Yesterday I opted for jail break food, from a reputable national chain of restaurants. I wanted a good quality pasta. I got a good quality pasta, quality crap that is. I’d already started feeling somewhat suspect after a special pizza that the kitchen had made for me out of pity. The pasta was the cherry on top of a sour ice cream sundae of meals it seems.
The stomach cramps had me doubled over and crawling to the toilet. I held onto Ralph for dear life and hit the dreaded red panic button on the wall beside me, knowing full well that my last ounce of dignity was about to be put on display for all the night staff, all of whom came running to see if I was okay and all stood huddled in the doorway with a look of pity and horror. Horror because I suspect that they felt the same as I did, that our time was up and that madame was on her way. Pity because, well, who doesn’t automatically dish out pity when someone is doubled over the porcelain throne serenading it with chunder lyrics. Heave ho.
My poor doctor was called, the blood labs were called, my husband was summoned and I lay, sat, hunched, rocked and writhed doubled over while we waited to find out what was going on. The long and short was, a severely upset stomach. However, while we waited for these results I was instructed to hang around in bed, so was given a lovely little bowl to donate my stomach contents into, in front of my husband, oh yippeeee.
When the results came back I was told I’d be receiving two injections to alleviate nausea and the stomach cramps, I did not want to take pain killers as my poor kid is already going to be drugged to the gills. So, a fiery jab to each butt cheek, just to spread the fun, and an hour or two of waiting for the jabs to take effect. While my poor husband looked on helpless, rubbing my back to try alleviate some of my massive discomfort.
By 5am most of the pain had subsided and had been replaced by some delightful new pregnancy, pre-eclampsia and food poisoning side effects. I could barely open my eyes as they had swollen almost completely shut, most of this has been contributed to a night of bawling my eyes out as my kankles and hands aren’t more swollen than usual. Another lovely reaction that I woke to was a rash, all over my upper body, from just below them boobies to my jaw line and cheeks. I’m pretty sure I resemble Freddy Kruger currently.
The rash has been attributed to either heat rash from the sweats last night, or another delightful pregnancy side effect (I should put together a list of possibilities for you, it’s quite extensive). My eyes swell shut every time I lay flat on my side or back so every naptime I wake up looking like the Pillsbury Dough girl.
On the positive side though, we’ve reached 26 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy, the paediatric specialists that have been assigned to me are very positive about madams odds if she arrives now, but we’re hoping for at least another 1-2 weeks, but my blood pressure is increasing and my protein levels in my urine are starting to increase as well.
‘Pregnancy is such a beautiful time, one that you’ll be looking back fondly at’. Many, many people will tell you this and if you are like most women, this may well be true, but realise that for every 9 of your friends who had that sickeningly perfect pregnancy, there was at least one who experienced some level of massive discomfort or even horror experiences like me, and they don’t talk about it, because somehow we feel like failures and inadequate.
I’ve dealt with some pretty shitty situations in my life so far, but not one of them prepared me for this feeling of being totally and utterly out of control.